Miles's blog

Guess what I just found? The VHS tape of me on Jeopardy. I knew it was around here somewhere but I had lost track of it. The beauty of moving is that you sometimes stumble on stuff you thought you had lost.

At this point, the thing is a relic. After all, who has a VHS player anymore? (I mean actually hooked up, not stuck in some box in the back of the garage.) Candace Cooledge wanted me to bring the tape in to the DA’s office, but I had no idea where it was. I don’t know what she expected to do with the thing, anyway. I tried to make a DVD out of it and even bought one of those side by side recorders, but the thing never worked right.

I never really cared very much, though. I have no desire to watch it. Ever. First of all, I lost. That bothers me on several levels. Obviously, I hate to lose. Even when Meg was little I never let her win when we played Chutes and Ladders. I wanted her to learn that winning has to be earned, that no one is going to give you anything in life, and a lot of the time, no matter how hard you try, you are going to lose anyway. I think, perhaps, this lesson may have backfired. Meg is one of the least competitive people I know.

I am better about losing than when I was a kid. My brother and sister and I would play Monopoly all the time. I hated it when I lost. I would throw the dice, the pieces, the money, even the game board around the room. That is when my brother would beat on me to get me to stop and my sister would start crying. No wonder our parents never played.

On Jeopardy, I should have won. Really. You can take a look at the game online. In double jeopardy I was doing pretty well. At one point there was a question about a harmonica. (Actually an answer was given to us with the correct question being “what is a harmonica?” This whole question/answer thing on Jeopardy can be confusing to write about.) However, although I knew the correct response was harmonica I did not ring in because I was not sure, and I had guessed wrong so often in the first round that I was skittish. The other two did not ring in either. Had I done so I would have gotten it right, proceeded onto the next answer which was a daily double, and which I knew. I had decided that I went there to go big or go home and that if I got a daily double I was going to wager everything. I never had one. Had I gotten this one I would have had an insurmountable lead, and my failure to remember Fat Tuesday is the day before Lent would have made no difference.

But the main reason I hated to lose it that I could not continue the next day. Being on Jeopardy was fun! After a minute I completely forgot about the crowd and the tv cameras. All my attention was on the video board in front of me with the answers, Alex’s voice, and the light which indicated it was time to respond. Push the button before the light comes on and you are locked out for two-fifths of a second. Wait too long, and almost certainly one of the other contestants will beat you out. For most questions, all of us knew the answer (I mean for most answers most of us knew the questions, damn). The key is anticipating exactly when that light will come on. As the game goes on you get into a rhythm, and soon it is just fun. Losing meant I had to stop. I wanted to keep going.

I am pretty sure the next day I would have gotten my ass kicked. The woman who won that game went on to win three more. She was terrific. I did not know the final jeopardy question and she did, so I am pretty sure I would have lost. But at least I would have had one more game.

Since I was on I have not watched the show. I tried to watch one night but the challenge was gone. The fun of playing at home is matching yourself against the contestants. Now that I know how I do I am just not interested anymore. Plus, I don’t think I would be very good now. Age has sapped some of the quickness of my memory and I no longer keep up with current events like I did. I had my shot. It was fun. But I have no desire to watch myself lose again.

# posted by Miles Madorin : 3:05 PM