Thursday, January 19, 2012

Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter


There is a movie coming out this year called Abraham Lincoln:Vampire Hunter.  Seriously.  Apparently in the same genre is FDR: AmericanBadass which has the 32d president fighting werewolves.  Seriously.  If you doubt that American society is going completely to hell, here are some prime examples.  Read the article in Entertainment Weekly, a respectable publication I subscribe to which is published by Time-Warner.  They think a history movie “served with a healthy helping of crack” is great fun.


Unfortunately, with the state of education in America and the lack of desire on the part of the younger generation to understand anything about history, I suspect that in 10 years or so if Jeopardy puts up an answer of “Abraham Lincoln” most of the audience, and probably some of the contestants will respond “Who was a famous vampire hunter?”  Seriously.  It is not bad enough that movies have to change the history of horse racing, football, and the Olympics (see my previous blog on this subject) but now they have to denigrate the memory of two of our greatest presidents by turning them into historical versions of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer?”  I mean what is next? 


·        JFK and the Sea Monster: The engrossing story of how he had to fight not only the Japanese navy, but a giant squid to rescue the crew of PT109.


·        Teddy Roosevelt in the Fifth Dimension: San Juan Hill was nothing compared to interdimensional warfare.


·        War of the Fillmores—Millard v. Willard:  Our most anonymous president tries to rid the White House of giant, man-eating rats.


·        Tippicanoe and Tyler’s Zoo:  William Henry Harrison supposedly died after 30 days in office, but was he actually kidnapped by an alien and put into a galactic zoo?


·        Dolly Madison, Demon Baker:  The First Lady cooks up mind-altering treats in an effort to win the war of 1812.


·        The Devil Made Him Do It:  Benedict Arnold sold out his country because he was possessed. 


·        Bill Clinton Tells the Truth:  Nah, you can’t alter history too much, no one would buy that.



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