Miles's blog

Susan bought a dresser for her daughter’s room yesterday, and like most furniture you buy today, some assembly was required.  Are there three more painful words than “some assembly required?”  The people in the store, however, assured us that assembly was easy.  That should have been our first clue.

If you want to feel truly stupid, try to assemble something made in another country (in this case Malaysia) using their instructions after being told that such a project is “easy.”  Three hours after we started I would have described the process as anything but “easy.”

First we had to take everything out of the box because the piece they wanted us to start with was, of course, on the bottom.  After several minutes of trying to figure out which way that piece had to sit in order to attach everything we got started.  This involved lots of putting piece J together with piece C and connecting them with screw 5 using Allen wrench 12.  Many times we were forced to carefully examine the screws, bolts, washers, and other paraphernalia to determine which was number 5 and which was number 10.  An unfortunate misunderstanding on my part led to screw 11 being placed where bolt 10 should have been, resulting in splitting of the wood.  Like I said, if you want to feel stupid . . .

On more than one occasion we had to undo something we had already done because I put the piece on backwards, upside down, or confused the front with the back.  I tried following the instructions, but they were not always clear.  One part of the instruction form had not copied well, and the text was vague and hard to read.  There were pictures, but they did not always contain the same level of detail as the part.

When we finally finished we had a freestanding dresses, with drawers fitting in where intended.  We also had several screws, some washers, and a few other assorted parts whose purpose was unclear.  I know of at least one screw we neglected to put in, but where those other ones are supposed to go is a mystery.  I am hoping the thing does not collapse as soon as clothes are placed inside or something heavy, like a tv set, is placed atop it.

This sort of do-it-yourselfing has always been beyond my grasp.  I got an “F” in shop class, a grade I did not dispute because, looking at the thing I tried to make, it was obviously well-deserved.  My ineptitude has grown throughout the years, so that I am pretty much incapable of making anything more complicated than a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  Yesterday was another trip along the road of frustration. I really do wonder where all those extra parts were supposed to go.